A not so serious SERIOUS thinking

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks. -National Institute of Mental Health-

You realize that maybe you need help, especially when the depressive episode attacks. But it won't last too long to convince you to go to the doctor, 'cause that's exactly when the manic episode comes around. You're living your life like you were riding a roller coaster, literally. Sometimes you feel so high and makes you wanna scream. Some other times, you feel like you wanna puke. That level of excitement could turn suddenly into a hypo-manic episode, and that's when you start to feel numb. Your brain can't handle the mood swings. Your body screams for your brain to stop thinking. Your heart feels constant pain, because of all those extra hard work your mood sets for them.

When you're feeling down, you started to isolate yourself from the others, because you know how bad it is when you're not in your best state. Then when you're feeling high, you called everyone, literally everyone, and talk about almost anything. You feel the need to reconnect. You feel the need to socialize. You want everyone to recognize that you are HERE. But deep down, there's always that tiny voice wondering about what they say about me and what they think about me. And... here goes that cycle again. You walk carefully because you're afraid to ruin everything. You're afraid that those happiness won't last long, 'cause you know that those-sulking-period, feels like hell.

Life seems so... I don't know, long? Lonely? Especially when you reach out for your loved ones, and realize that they're busy with their own life. You understand, and you know that everybody got their own problems and you're just one tiny little spot in their face that needs to be wiped. But that doesn't make it easier. Again, those cycle. Alone.

Religious people may say to turn to your God. Hmmm... let me leave it to me and Him about what I've done so far. And what I haven't done yet.

Ah, how many nights does it take to count the stars~ .....no, wait. That was a lyric from a song xD Ssssshh shatap brain! I'm trying to get serious here. How would people understand that this is a real situation and a lot of people had it but they're not seeking for help if you won't let me speak? -_-
Oh well, I'm a mess. Now I'm talking to myself.